Thursday, August 19, 2010

Yes, no, and wait awhile

One of these three answers is provided to every prayer. I must admit that I personally am only fond of the first. Patience is definitely not one of my virtues and God knows that well. So He decided to take the adoption opportunity to help me learn the value in waiting on His timing. The Bible says but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint Isaiah 40:31. Many versions substitute the word wait for hope. In fact, wait is the word which came to mind as I recalled this verse.

On April 1 while home from work on a sick day I received a call from Sue at CCI. She had a seven month old and his three year old brother that she felt were perfect for me. The baby had been brought to the orphanage and the brother was supposed to be brought in a matter of days. She sent pictures for me to view and I immediately saw this baby as one of mine. But, a baby! I hadn't counted on that. When I began the process I was thinking ages 2-4...perfect to play with the grandkids and a perfect age so I could still retire on time:) After a few days Sue called to see if I was interested in the baby by himself as the brother had still not arrived. As I prayed through the question I couldn't help but remember the vision of the toddler I had seen months earlier. Could it be that I had gotten it wrong? Maybe that was this little one in a couple of years? Surrounded by questions but certain of His intent for this to be my son I said yes; with or without his brother I would adopt him.

The next day I received an e-mail from Sue which briefly offered apologies and a statement that the mother had returned for this little one. My heart broke yet I rejoiced that he would remain with his mother and brother in his country. I prayed daily for his safety and happiness and began waiting for the next referral.

Several pictures were sent my way through the next months of waiting children. Yes, I could love each of them, but time and again I prayed through the decision and said no. I wondered how would I know when to say yes again as the pain and fear of experiencing what had previously happened haunted me. My daughter suggested asking a friend how she knew, but I didn't need to. I knew without a doubt that this boy was my son and I prayed.

Several months passed and in July Sue had another quick trip to Ethiopia. It was at that time that Kathy shared a quote from camp. "Don't ask God for something; expect him to do it!" Okay, so that was a new approach, so daily I prayed for Sue and thanked God for leading her to my boys. On July 21 I received an e-mail from CCI. It was brief, simply stating that the baby was back and his brother was with him and asked if I was still interested. Still interested!!! I think they could hear me shouting around the world at that moment. I received pictures the next day and saw now 11 month old Jacob with his 3 year old brother Joseph. I laughed, I cried, I shouted praises to our Father for answered prayers. I was covered in goose bumps as I immediately knew Joseph from the boy in my vision!

The lessons are many, but among the most important to me is that God's timing is impecable and perfect. See, when I first heard of these boys I was trying to finish up my Masters program and had just begun a new role at work. I wondered how I could ever manage with two children. But God knew. He knew that he could give these boys a few more months with their Mom in their home country, keep them out of the orphanage, and let me finish what I had begun. Now I wait for the rainy season to end in Ethiopia so that I can bring my sons home. I wait this time because God knew again. This time not what I had to finish but rather what I wanted to finish. As I paint their rooms (and the rest of the house) I am preparing my grandchildren for changes to come. The room known as "Michael's room" for so long is suddenly a play room and he asked last weekend why I moved his bed. It won't be an easy adjustment for them. I also wait to prepare myself for what is to come. I have already given up any free time as I prepare for their arrival. I am not naive enough to think they will come home and all will be smooth sailing. In fact, I am quite certain that at some point the three of us will sit in the floor and cry together. But as I wait, I read adoption books and I pray. I pray for their hearts that they may know me as I knew them.

Father God, I thank you for the plan that I now see clearly. I ask that you would bless Joseph and Jacob as they wait. I ask for health and happiness. I pray that you would let them begin to see their new family in their dreams. I pray for an easy transition for each of us. I pray for their mother Lord and the heartache she must be feeling. Above all, I pray that you will give me the wisdom to help them become the strong Godly men you intended. Thank you Lord. Amen.

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