Merry Christmas!

December 2011...what a difference a year makes, huh. Last year I struggled with the distance between me and my sons...this year I played Santa again and reveled in the fact that yes, they are home.

We had a rough month prior to and just after Christmas with first one illness and then another taking over. Jacob had a terrible virus requiring two trips to the doctor, blood work, and a chest x-ray to convince me it was just a virus (it is hard to persuade a nurse, especially one who specializes in pediatric oncology!). He ran a fever up to 105 for a solid week and just laid in my arms saying "help me Mama." Then both boys got head colds which led to Jacob's first ear infection since surgery. All was topped off by Joseph's first stomach virus and vomiting for the first time ever. Thankfully that one was short lived and did not spread beyond him. Both are well for the moment but I hold my breath every time one of them coughs!

I managed to get the boys by to see Santa Claus prior to the busy time of the season and wish I had taken a video camera. Joseph delighted in running to Santa and once I explained that this was their first Christmas here, Santa very patiently explained how Christmas worked, up to and including the reindeer pulling the sleigh. It was precious and the smile on Joseph's face priceless. Jacob managed a high five and sat in big sis Kathy's lap for a picture. Let's just say he was curious but not a fan.

Christmas celebrations began with my siblings, niece and nephew, and all of my children and grandchildren. It was one big germ fest as my two were not the only ones not feeling up to par. They wasted no time however as gifts were presented and each opened the first of many. Next came Christmas Eve at my Uncle's house where Joseph and Jacob met some family members for the first time. Christmas Eve night my older three children came over with their families and shared dinner, and gifts. Then Christmas morning David and Kathy came over to wake the boys and video and take pictures of their first American Christmas celebration. All in all a wonderful celebration with precious family time and wonderful gifts. Needless to say, the most priceless gift was having all of my children home with me this year.

The grandchildren. Michael (6), Colten (5), Kensley (4), and Emmalynn (3 months)

Joseph going to spread some reindeer food

One of those rare smiles. Jacob is very stingy with them when the camera is around.

Thanks Santa!

My children, Kathy, Amy, David, Joseph, and Jacob

Thank you for my home!

Thanksgiving. A time to reflect on the blessings of the year, a time to celebrate with friends and family, a time as pastor Pat puts it to examine ways I have been a blessing to others. This year has been an amazing experience! I am so very thankful to have Joseph and Jacob home for the holidays. As we look forward to Christmas, I can't help but remember this time last year when my heart yearned to be in Ethiopia with my boys. A time of great expectation, sorrow, and overwhelming joy. No, they were not home for the American celebrations, but instead in God's perfect timing were here for the Ethiopian Christmas celebration. I know each emotion well and so I know the journey many others are on at this very moment. I still feel that a part of my heart is in Ethiopia. I hurt for each of you waiting for that phone call/e-mail for travel.

I must offer up praise to my son Joseph in this post. Thanksgiving dinner was before us and my sister asked who would offer the blessing. In a room full of adults, Joseph spoke up and said he would pray. I think I held my breath for a minute (you never know what is coming!) but became the proud Mama as he began to quietly sing "God Our Father," a song he has learned at school. As the song came to an end he paused and then added, "and thank you for my home." Kind of puts it all in perspective and lets me know that he gets it. That it's not about all of the toys and other things in life. Yes Lord, thank you for my home! Thank you that I had the courage to say yes to your calling down this road. Thank you for each ounce of strength you afford me and for the opportunity to raise these boys in the home you called their own from the very beginning of their lives!

Happy 2nd birthday Jacob!

Jacob celebrated his 2nd birthday last Monday, 11-7. The day was filled with emotion as I reflected to a year ago when I was in Ethiopia for the first time meeting him and Joseph. We met on the 8th of November 2010 and the only regret is that I did not know he was celebrating a birthday at that time. The day started with a big smile as I sang happy birthday to him. Joseph was quite excited at that time also but quickly became jealous over the attention and told me I hadn't given him a party:) to which I pulled out the pictures and video to remind him of his celebration. Though Jacob wouldn't get out of my lap to open his gifts he quickly got into opening presents and immediately began to play. We celebrated after work and school at our favorite restaurant, Margarita House. There were more presents with his sisters, brother-in-law, and nieces and nephew. Have I mentioned he has a new niece?? Born 9-12, Ms Emmalynn is the light of his life. He just loves holding her, saying her name, and touching her head and hands! The birthday celebration wrapped up on Saturday with a Thomas party and some friends and lots of family showering him with attention. He was hesitant to blow out the birthday candles and began eating his cake prim and proper with a fork, ending with hands and a slap to both sides of his face.

Jacob is in his big boy bed now and is doing quite nicely, having stayed in bed every night since this transition. His teacher at school is frequently reminding me how smart this little guy is. He is counting, trying to say his ABC's, and reading! Yes, reading! The children's names are on the back of each chair. At snack time he pulls the chairs out, reads the name, and places it at the appropriate place at the table! My little genius boy he is. Oh, and there hasn't been anymore biting since the ear tubes were placed. Perhaps my theory was correct and he was biting to relieve the pressure in his ears. Love that boy! Happy birthday little man!!



At Margarita House

With sister Kathy

Some of his birthday loot!

Wrestling with nephew Colten

You might say he enjoyed the birthday cake!

October update

Wow, I can't believe how far behind I am. It seems that time is just flying. In fact, one year ago this coming Tuesday I met the boys for the first time on my court trip to Ethiopia! So hard to believe. We have come so far and yet have so far to go. I struggle daily with the demands of two small boys as a single parent. The first thing every morning I pray for patience to wake them, rush them off to school, and head to work. Then on the way to school each afternoon the prayer becomes endurance for the remainder of the day. I am 49 years young now, and some days I feel every bit of it! At the same time I have begun to wrestle with God over the desire to go back to Ethiopia for more children!! How that can possibly happen only God knows. He knows I do not have the financial resources for more in daycare nor the room in my car for more car seats, and so the answer is adopt older. As much as my heart yearns to follow through and fill my house to the brim, I find myself in the same place I was in two years ago, only this time my eyes are perhaps a bit wider to the reality this brings. So, I pray and wait.

The month of October was very busy. On Oct. 15th we went to the Shrine Circus and the boys got a taste of clowns, elephant rides, pony rides, souvenirs, and lots of junk food. The 16th we went to the pumpkin patch and enjoyed an afternoon with the boys' classmates. They went on a hay ride (minus the hay), worked their way through mazes, fed and saw many animals, and played with and on a variety of other things. Not to mention their first taste at trick-or-treating. I must say that I have the cutest Batman and Robin on the planet! Halloween was quite a treat as they went door to door and ended the evening at a neighbor's house for a Halloween party. I do believe America became even more enjoyable with this night alone!

November began with a bang for Jacob. After literally weeks of recurrent ear infections and issues with his asthma he was referred to an ENT and on 11-2 had ear tubes placed and an adenoidectomy. Prayers were answered as he sailed through the surgery without breathing complications, but perhaps the hardest moment in my life (well, in a lot of years) was when they carried him away from me toward the OR and I watched him flailing and reaching and screaming Mommy. We are two days post-op now and the swelling is residing and pain seems some better. He is quite cranky, but after reading the operative report I can understand why.

We now look forward to the winter holidays. Joseph asks almost every day if it is going to snow and today he asked when Christmas would be here. He seems to remember our Ethiopian celebration last year and has begun circling most every toy in every catalog in hopes that Santa will bring them his way. Jacob turns two years old on 11-7 so I hope to post again sooner rather than later. I plan to put his big boy bed up soon as he is trying to scale the side of the crib every morning! Yes, we have come so far. This little boy who came home wearing 12-18 month clothes is now in 3T. He is coming out with more words every day and I expect once his hearing normalizes he will be talking up a blue streak. Though he has begun having issues with biting in school again (after 2 months without) he is doing well and shows how smart he is every day, counting while breathing in his albuterol and singing his abcs. Joseph is doing well in school and seems to be catching on more every day. He still refuses to call himself Joseph, referring to himself instead as Yosef Tyler Shinkle. Oh well. If that is the part of his identity so important to him, than so be it.

Happy Birthday Mommy

One more thing I just remembered and had to include. After many days at Ft. Myers Beach, Kathy and I decided to celebrate my birthday on Sanibel Island. Joseph had been viewing this island from the beach for days and desperately wanted to go. This is the video Kathy got on our drive. Absolutely precious...

Joseph

Well, if you read Jacob's post then all of the beginning stuff applies here also. Joseph is doing well, though I am afraid he is silently troubled...more on that later.

Medical:
This guy who came home at 37.5 inches and weighed 33.5 pounds  has finally begun to grow and is now up to 39.3 inches and 37 pounds. His August visit to the pediatrician also resulted in a diagnosis of giardia. I was not at all surprised as his appetite has been horrible. Then, there is the stinky poop that required a gas mask to enter the bathroom within 30 minutes of his visits. This was only the second treatment for Joseph and based on his improved appetite and less frequent visits to the potty, it was successful. We will re-test soon. Joseph has caught up on vaccinations and does not return to the doctor until next year. His dental visit went well with two teeth beginning to show signs of decay, so lots of extra brushing going on in the back. Other than a few minor colds, Joseph has been quite healthy.

Daycare:
After a lot of thought and weeks of driving to two different locations twice a day, I made the decision to move Joseph to Smyrna Christian School with Jacob. I struggled because he was so adjusted there. He had two fluffy African American teachers who were wonderful, not to mention all of his friends. I find it so important to keep some contact with his own race and so this created the most difficulty in my decision to move him. But, I am happy to report that he is settling into his pre-k class and quickly making new friends. He proudly displays his accomplishments daily and is slowly learning to write his name as he puts the letters of the alphabet to practice.

Emotional:
This is where we struggle. There have been reports of Joseph twisting his friends arm, hitting his friends, and kicking the bathroom wall while in daycare. Then, there is the heartbreaking tale of several weeks ago. We were having a great day...kicked back, watching his favorite movie "Tangled" and eating popcorn....when out of the blue came this question: "Mommy, will YOU ever leave me?" Oh my! I talked through the adoption and that he was with me forever and thought things were soothed over. At bedtime I could tell he was still troubled and so I said, "Joseph, you do know that your Emiyet in Ethiopia loved you very much, don't you?"Well, that did it and the flood gates burst open. I sat in the bed and explained why he was left in the orphanage and how glad I was that he was with me and we cried. There were several days of unsettled emotion but for now he has quieted the outward display. It is the inward that worries me. This sweet, quiet child that others can't believe would behave inappropriately is angry. I hope to speak with the doctor at his next appointment to see about counseling.

Vacation:
Joseph loved absolutely everything about the trip to the beach. He kept my daughter Kathy and I quite entertained with statements on the drive such as, "Florida sure is a LONG way" and "Mama, I'm afraid of the water" as we passed over a bridge. Joseph, I asked, why are you afraid of the water? "Because I can't swim" he replied with a hint of duh. He played happily in the water and sand, picked mangos from his PawPaw's tree, made a hole-in-one on his first shot at the putt putt golf course, and bonded quite nicely with his PawPaw. There are so many pictures I could share, but here are a few favorites.

In general:
As with Jacob, I am sure there are things I am leaving out, but that is the beauty of this method of entry as I can always add later!

This boy loves him some mango!

Playing in the rain while at Shell Factory Nature Park seemed to remind him of a time in Ethiopia

PawPaw couldn't wait to get Joseph in his golf cart and drive him around

Catching up with Jacob

As it has been a while since I last posted,  I figure each of the boys deserves his own post to catch up. August was a wonderful though busy month. Jacob warmed up nicely to his big brother David and enjoyed as much playtime as we could squeeze in before he returned to Hawaii. We celebrated his niece Kensley's 4th birthday, saw the pediatrician and dentist, and went on the first family vacation!

Medical: Hard to believe how much Jacob has grown. He began in January at 31 inches and 23.4 pounds and is now 35 inches and 28.9 pounds! This despite the giardia...yes, he tested positive again. I was a little surprised as he has been asymptomatic but we treated and will re-test later this month. He has about caught up on vaccinations (PTL) and was not scheduled to return to the pediatrician until November. The dental appointment went better this time. He hates having his teeth brushed and this was no exception.
Jacob contracted hand, foot, and mouth disease at daycare and let me tell you, that was no fun. I have never seen this before. He began with fever and within 24hrs was covered in blisters. He is still peeling from this infection three weeks ago and will definitely have scars resulting. Everything including his little mouth was blistered, so we got some real time to bond and attach further as the only thing comforting was my arms (and ibuprofen, though I like to take credit).
He began coughing last Friday and when I picked him up on Tuesday I wasn't sure I would make it to the hospital in time to prevent a full fledged asthma attack. After a couple of hours, ibuprofen, steroids, and albuterol we were released from the emergency department. Follow-up with the pediatrician was today and he has now crossed the threshold with steroids and is labeled asthmatic. Hopefully the addition of daily zyrtec and inhaled steroids will get a handle quickly on this illness.

Daycare: Here is the other point of interest for this guy. So, after much prayer he began a new daycare the 22nd of August and is doing wonderfully. To catch you up, he was asked to leave the first daycare because of biting. This behavior continued in a home setting so I had no real expectations for improvement. After speaking in length to the director and finding his classroom size to be quadruple that at La Petite with only five other students max, he began Smyrna Christian School. I am beyond thrilled to report that there have been zero incidents of biting and he seems to be adjusting well!!

The start of a very long drive to Florida

Vacation: We traveled by car to Ft. Myers, Florida to continue the tradition of celebrating my birthday on the beach. Jacob did quite well traveling with his DVD player and driving by night as much as possible. He was not a fan of the ocean as the waves were up due to lots of rain, but he loved the sand up to and including eating it! I know, this boy is just not right:) He even took his cheese stick and rolled it in the sand for more and discovered that a sea shell makes a nice spoon for dipping!! Despite that (and the fact that he got sick two days into the vacation), we enjoyed a week stay and he won his PawPaw's heart. This has been a long prayer as my Dad was not a fan of the adoption, especially with the color difference, but these two became quick buddies.

In general: It seems I am likely missing some important detail, but for now I will close with the promise to update on Joseph later today. It's hard to believe that a year ago I was in the midst of fundraising to bring this little guy home. God is good indeed!!

Though a little blurry, I love this picture made during a rain storm while we visited the Shell Factory Nature Park.

Leaving dinner with his new best buddy!

This was the usual expression when we tried to get him in the water!