A walk down memory lane

As a result of this Mama not paying attention to daycare closure due to the holiday I am spending an unexpected Monday home with the boys. Yeah for a Monday off from work, right! Well, in trying to pass the morning I pulled up some pictures and videos of the Ethiopia Court and Embassy visits and quickly had a lap full of boys. We were laughing at the antics, at how they have grown, and trying desperately to figure out what Joseph was saying. He kept sadly shaking his head and saying "I don't remember" that is until I opened the video of them with their birth Mom. There was breathtaking silence and then Joseph grabbed me and in a pleading voice said "No Mama, I want to go home!" and then "where's Mama" as he searched the video for a glimpse of me. It took me a moment to realize he meant home as in here home. There was something about that video that transported him back to that orphanage in Ethiopia. I was trying to reassure him when Jacob's attention shifted from a movie he was watching to the video and suddenly he was sobbing hysterically and clinging to me. Needless to say the video ended quickly and I spent the next hour with Jacob unwilling to get out of my lap in obvious distress and Joseph following my every footstep.
What just happened? Obviously not what I intended. I believe these two were terrified, horrified in fact that their lives were fixing to change again. So how on earth do I figure out this balance of keeping their heritage strong and sharing their adoption story, yet protecting their hearts. She was a huge player in their lives and one who deserves to be remembered and honored. Yet I feel this is my cue to leave this portion of their lives untouched until they ask. Everything I ever read said to answer questions as they came. So does that mean to never mention their Ehmyay until they do? Until now I felt it was good for them to see the pictures periodically. In the beginning in fact there seemed to be something quite soothing to Joseph about doing so. Perhaps it is the length of time that has now passed. This one I just do not know. What I do know is it feels amazing that these two call me Mama and seek comfort in my arms. I will certainly be praying through this one.